You'll Never Know

You will never understand 

the reasons for my tears

because you never know

what I've been...

Say not a word 

because you never know

how God 

has led me through all...

    Inhopelessness 

      @MA 7/2016

Believe...

Many 

Are going through the same

All sorts of pain

Agony from loss

Life has lost meaning 

Yet...

We must learn to breathe 

Even for another day

In each day at a time...

Believe...

God's grace will lift you up

And will lead you through...

    Inhopelessness 

     @MA 492016

I Asked God

Again today

I gazed at the skies...

My heart in throbbing pain 

in streaming tears 

sought the face of God...

Again painfully 

I asked Him...

"Oh God 

What do you see

deep in me?..."

"Oh God

Are these all

what you purposed for me?..."

In fiercely grieving heart

I asked God again today...

      Inhopelessness 

       @MA1232016

Feel their pain...

The depth of the deepest pain

Oh who could contain...?

The sadness of the saddest heart

Oh who could grasp...?

Feel their pain 

Feel their sadness

So you may understand...

              Inhopelessness 

              @MA12192015

Like a Cancer

Like a cancer

My pain is like a cancer

No cure...

They never heal...

Could only wish for a miracle 

If only God would come to heal...

They said let go and let God...

They said never lose hope have faith...

They said get up and move on...

They said be happy and welcome a new life...

They said be strong hold on...

They said love yourself and be free...

They said so many beautiful words

but they never know what  a dying heart

and soul is going through...

They never know how they helped 

themselves up to breathe a tick at a time...

Like a cancer

Their pain never heals...

Though deep in their soul

they could only wish

God will send His miracle to heal...

          Inhopelessness 

          @MA12122015

PTSD

PTSD

Do you know them?

Do you really understand 

what they're going through?

Do you feel their pain?

Do you hear what they hear?

Do you see what they see?

Can you feel their agony?

You will never know

If you are not one...

    Inhopelessness 

     @MA1272015

Where art thou now oh God...

Where art thou now oh God?...

Why hast thou forsaken me?

Why hast thou not saved me

from my pains and misery?

Why hast thine arms too short 

to reach out to my heart?

Why hast  thine ears

deaf to my tears?

Why hast thine eyes

seen not my frailties?

Where art thou now my God?...

Thou hast known 

my soul believes in thee...

Through all my agony

in thine will in faith I remained...

in thine wonderful amazing grace

always I believed...

For Thou art God

Marvelous and Mighty 

Holy in Majesty...

Yet...

Where art thou now Oh God?...

All around me are pain and tears

my worn torn heart 

are all that I could see...

Where art  thou now oh God?...

        Inhopelessness 

         @MA1262015

Though God

In our every today's 

the one we love

may not be with us...

They may not be there

in our every tomorrows...

But deep here in our hearts

they are always with us...

Though God did not will

that we belong in their life

that they belong in our life...

Have faith in His will 

for the reasons why...

The hopes and dreams

The life that we wished we have

The time gone by

that we can not bring back...

The thoughts and the memories 

in our hearts and mind 

may keep coming back...

Even then in these 

though in streaming tears

hold on and be comforted 

in trusting the heart of God...

          Inhopelessness 

         @MA11/272015

He will get you through...

God has reasons...

Though in tears 

Though in pain 

just let it flow

because faithfully 

He will get you through

until we know and understand 

the reasons of the many why's...

          Inhopelessness

          @MA11202015

Though we throw our towels...

There are times 

when in our worsts 

that we tend to question God

and we feel like

dying in our faith

pulled down 

by heaviness and drain...

and all we can see 

are the traces of pains...

Yet... 

God's grace 

is beyond comprehension 

Still... 

though we throw our towels 

amazingly

His grace will pick us up 

and detail by detail

He will breathe in our hearts 

renewed peace 

renewed wisdom

renewed faith in His will...

Then we will see

He is proving Himself again

of the wonder of who He is...

       Inhopelessness 

          @MA2015

Please see me through

My hopelessness I give to you

My swollen heart I lift to you

You know how I am 

suffering 

great agony and deep pain

In hopelessness 

to you I kneel 

sustain my heart

please see me through

In everything...

In everything 

God allowed to happen

He wants us to learn...

that in Him 

we can always lean...

that nothing will stand 

apart from Him...

Pen your Pain

Harm yourself no more...

You've been hurt 

much too much

Stop... 

Not anymore...

your skin please don't cut

In your melancholy

in your struggles and despair

write down your pain

pen your heart and hurts

the screaming and gnashing within

all the agony and tears

write them all down my friend...

In the land of the living...

      

Oh God...

Please feel my grief 

      and heal my pain

You know my heart 

      is dying within

The sadness is consuming

      it is overwhelming

You know I'm tired

      you know the weight

that I've been bearing...

      I pray...

Please touch my heart

      please bless my soul 

with your peace and grace 

      in the land 

      of the living

Please allow me to live 

      a life that is 

      truly breathing

In hopelessness 

      please grant me hope

I pray Oh Lord...

      

Please send your grace...

Father God

where is your grace?

for until now 

I am drowning in misery

and tears...

Lord...

where now is your grace?

To heal my so worn heart

from all the wounds and hurts...

Lord...

you know 

I am constantly waiting...

Please send now 

your healing grace...

As another day comes...

In tears 

and in deep pain

you know oh Lord

I am trusting in your will

Though the sadness is never leaving

Though the pain is never ever ending

Upon waking up in every morning 

My Lord I will call to you again

to sustain me with your grace 

as another day comes 

and roll again 

and again

Cruel Me...

Today

again...

I stabbed my heart

Oh Lord you know the depth

you know the pain 

you know the agony

I could not pretend

With all that my eyes can see

Lord forgive me...

I stabbed my heart

again...

today

Sole reason...

When your heart 

is where your hope is

when in hope 

is where your heart is

Yet you are 

in a place of hopelessness 

where you lay in bed of tears 

and could not find reasons 

to believe 

Faith in God's purposes 

is the sole reason

to breathe...

Malady of Pain...

You never know

the weight of my sadness...

you never know 

the depth of my pain...

You never care how it feels

You never care it never heals 

Had you know and had you care 

you never could have caused

this malady 

of agony and pain...

Until healing springs...

writing 

writing down here 

the weepings of my soul

trying to paint in words

the echoes 

and shapes of my world

helping my bewailing vessel 

to face 

life's unprecedented truth

over and over this I do

writing down here 

sadness and pain

until the time

of healing

springs

   Inhopelessness 

       @MA2015