Where Will I Go From Here

 

When the pen could no longer

Scribble how I am feeling…

When I could no longer find 

how to paint my mind…

When my voice 

I could no longer hear…

Where will I go from here…

©️Himawari no Yakusoku🌻

A Crying Soul

 

A Crying Soul

Not a poet at all…

just putting in words

the bewailing of my soul

No fascinating verses or prose

just echoes of every teardrops 

mists of life’s blows…

I am no poet at all

Just a wretched heart

ravaged and consumed 

crying in unending rain

walking through my storms …

©️Manuelle Augustine, 2015

I Love you Lord

I love you Lord

Though

my eyes are sore in tears

and my heart deeply in great pain...

I love you Lord

Though

my days are spent in griefs 

and my life is a fate

of crumbs and leftovers....

I Love you Lord

Through 

all that in my life 

you allowed and willed 

to happen...

Through the losses and frailties...

Through nothingness...

            Inhopelessness 

           @MA12102015

PTSD

PTSD

Do you know them?

Do you really understand 

what they're going through?

Do you feel their pain?

Do you hear what they hear?

Do you see what they see?

Can you feel their agony?

You will never know

If you are not one...

    Inhopelessness 

     @MA1272015

He will get you through...

God has reasons...

Though in tears 

Though in pain 

just let it flow

because faithfully 

He will get you through

until we know and understand 

the reasons of the many why's...

          Inhopelessness

          @MA11202015

I Kneel...

Oh what amazing comfort it is 

to trust and believe the heart of God...

Oh what solitude to understand 

God can never be wrong...

In all my deepest pain

facing life's truths and realities

though in streaming tears

my heart is resting 

in trusting God's grace...

Oh God I will draw myself to you

I will cling in you...

When my sadness and pain 

is drowning me within...

when it's mist is pulling me in strain

and my heart starts to crumble again 

faced by the dagger of reality 

to you I come and kneel...

              Inhopelessness 

               @MA1182015

If God would...

They said 

Never stop asking God

Never give up 

on your hopes and dreams...

They just don't know

the truth that I am living in...

They just don't hear and see

my anguish 

to God I cried all nights all day...

If God would only give me 

one chance to ask  and pray...

I know needless for me to say...

He knew it all so well...

Everything...All the way...

     @ A Manu's 10152015

            Inhopelessness 

Facing Hopelessness

Facing hopelessness 

is facing reality...

It may mean giving up

on the things that matters much

It may mean to accept things 

that are not meant to be...

as with things that are meant to be...

It doesn't mean giving in to defeat

But being brave to stand and believe 

that there are reasons and purposes

for everything...

Though things aren't going your way 

though to hope 

is what your heart wishes to be 

though to have hope 

is what you want to pray...

Facing hopelessness 

is facing truth and reality...

I want to believe...

Oh how my heart 

wants to believe 

that God desires 

to grant my wishes

and wipe my tears away 

as He comfort me 

in His embrace...

When miracles He will not send...

Oh God...

can I pray for a miracle?

Oh Lord...

would you send a miracle?

Or are you testing me through all the pain

if I will trust and have faith in your will

when miracles you will not send...

Oh God...

You know I believe in You

In whatever may be

through the tears and pain

though miracles you will not send 

I will trust in You...

Wish Love was Real

I wish that love is true 

I wish that love is real

I wish your heart was true 

I wish your love was real 

You promised 

you're here to stay

Yet you turned your back 

and walked away...

    Manuelle Augustine

             @2015

       Inhopelessness

In your grace...

"Gods grace is not with us ..."

Gods grace is not in me...(?)

Oh God...

How this words cut my heart...

How this truth pierced my soul...

To be not in your grace...

To be out from your grace...

Oh Lord...

You know 

How this truth 

hath melted me...

To be away from your grace 

what a cursed creature I could ever be...

But I know...

This  is not what you want me to be

This is not what you willed for me...

Out from your grace

you will not leave me...

for in your grace 

is where you want me to be

is where you embrace me...

Hopelessness

How wonderful is the word Hope...

It brightens a way...

It opens a pathway to strive...

It gives life a meaning...

It invigorates a soul...

But there are things 

that Hope can never change...

They are called reality and truth

Which only acceptance and faith

for the will and purposes of God

is the only choice...

It is called hopelessness 

a bitter truth...

I wonder...

Father God

How do you see me?

What is my image to thee?

How do you look at me?

What am I to thee?

I wonder Oh God

what are your thoughts

about me...

      Manuelle Augustine 

              @2015

In words...

My soul hid in words...

there's nowhere  I could go 

from void and emptiness 

in each passing moment

as I breathe each passing day 

in my painful truth and reality...

        Inhopelessness 

They said...

       They said...

They said..."forget..."

They never know it's not that easy...

They said..."be strong..."

Do they know how it is...

Do they know how heavy...

They said..."hope..."

Have they been in hopelessness...

Have they lived in painful truth...

They said..."have faith..."

Only God knows how I believe...

How I wish...

How I wish God

will bless

the beats of my heart...

How I wish God

will move the universe 

to change my story...

How I wish God

will make things happen...

How I wish God 

will pave the way...

How I wish God

will will it for me...

Trust in the Lord Completely

Trust in the Lord 

Completely...

Trust in His purposes and will...

It's always good and best...

In sweet surrender...

though in tears...

in bended knees...

in brokenness...

Trust that He delights in you 

trusting in Him...

Delight your heart also in Him...

In His perfect time 

He will lead you to His will...

When you completely trust in Him...

            Inhopelessness

               @MA2015

like a dying candle...

Like a dying candle

waiting for the last

tiny blow of wind 

then it's gone...

I pray my hopelessness 

sadness and pain

shall be blown away 

with the wind...

What can i do?

What can I do Oh God

Knowing  it is your will...

My sadness I can not hide

my pain I can not pretend...

My tears are streaming 

yet I can not

detest your will...

What can I do Oh God

when I know it is your will...